call me ray. (emerald_jaguar) wrote,
call me ray.
emerald_jaguar

time flies when you're having panic attacks...

It's like an evil worm that has invaded my brain, spewing forth it's disorienting secretions, turning reality topsy-turvy. My life has taken on new meaning in the past weeks.

I had two panic attacks in less than a weeks time. Both of them were after smoking weed (which i have been doing near-daily for the past year and a half). The drugs don't work no mo' I s'pose. This all happened days after giving up energy drinks for good. The paranoia associated with marijuana is nothing compared to the days after these episodes. Nothing quite like thinking your heart is going to explode to give you a complex about your health. I slowed way down on my cigarette intake as well.

So i am faced with an identity crisis of sorts; since my favorite leisure activity involves sitting on my patio, toking, smoking, pounding energy drinks, and enjoying the portland skyline as dusk fades to dark.

John Malkovich came into my store. I helped him find some Goo Gone. He also wanted that putty stuff you hang posters up with... but we don't carry it.

The job might have added to any stress that triggered these pseudo heart-attacks (not all of my customers are so histrionically genuine).

Or maybe it's this infected back molar i've had now for months.


I don't know...sometimes i just want to head off into the hills. I feel like everything everyone has been saying all along has been right, and i'm just the last to know... or the last to figure it out.

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